phonecalls

“Hi ____, this is _____”. That’s how I answer the phone. With more formal relationships, e.g., people from work or academia, I want to immediately establish both party’s identities. Maybe I’m just being cautious, but you can never be 100% sure if the caller matches what’s shown on caller ID. Even if the display reads the name of that crush of yours (I’m sure she’s listed under “Cutie Pie” in your cell phone). If I see a friend’s name pop up, a simple, “yo, ‘sup?” should suffice. Unless it’s actually a car repair shop calling from your friend’s misplaced cell. Made for an interesting conversation. ~AH

I don’t like phone calls. I’d much rather just IM you. Phone calls require you to actually know what you want to say, and say it in a coherent manner. Instant messenging, on the other hand, lets you sound a bit smoother, more suave, and the pauses between sentences when you’re trying to think faster than you type aren’t as awkward. There’s also no need to repeat yourself 4 times when you start stuttering/choking/talking too fast talking to that girl you’ve had a crush on since 3^rd grade while asking for that night’s homework. Too bad asking girls out over IM/txting is a worse taboo than asking your mother’s age. ~MY

wishes

Back when I still gave my parents a wishlist, there was one Christmas I really wanted comic books. At the top of my list. Surely, I thought, a comic book wouldn’t be asking too much if I had only asked for three things. A few days before Christmas, I see a big poster tube with my name on it. Resigned to defeat, I even started clearing space on one of the walls in my room for some poster. Come time to open the presents, and I pop open the tube to reveal several comic books rolled up. What was I thinking to have ever doubted? ~AH

I wish I could fly. I could fly 3 miles to a friend’s house, or I could fly 3,000 miles to some exotic beach in Hawaii. I could go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted and still avoid rush hour (how cool would that be?). But wishing, it seems, isn’t going to help me suddenly sprout a pair of wings ready to go. See, wishing is a little like daydreaming. You can sit around and daydream all day about how awesome having a pair of wings would be. Or you could unplug yourself from the wall, and fix things. Anyway, I’m going to learn how to fly a plane. Peace. ~MY

practice

I used to play the violin. My then violin teacher said I only had to practice 10 to 15 minutes a day. Soon that turned into 45 minutes, and then 2 hours, as I continued to play throughout the years. What was once 10 minutes of music-making became grueling hours of scales, bow-technique, and Sonatas. By the time I was to graduate high school, I realized that that was what separated me from a Joshua Bell or a Nigel Kennedy. There was no way I could stand for hours sawing away at that stringed box. Practice? I wanted to just make music. ~AH

You’d think that after writing so many of these, I’d be a little better at it. But ‘practicing’ writing doesn’t mean that, after a while, everything that comes out of your fingertips is miraculously astonishing and material ready for the next Newberry Award. No matter how many times you’ve done something, no matter how much time you’ve devoted to it, you can never stop putting your whole-hearted effort into it. Once you’ve sold your soul, there’s no going back. In for a garnet, in for a ruby. Practice might make perfect, but it’s dedication that makes better-than-perfect. ~MY

movies

Watching movies is supposed to be a solitary act. When you start a movie, you’re either trying to kill time or enjoy the company of others.  The latter is not conducive to fully enjoying the movie experience, as you’re busy trading comments, laughing together, and maybe snuggling (silly couples).  However, the film watching experiences I’ve enjoyed the most involve having that one friend in the group who’s not afraid to laugh as loudly and as frequently as desired.  Dark morbid scenes gain levity, while the humor in comedies becomes amplified.  A terrible movie becomes a communal act of mocking the cheap dialogue instead of $8 down the drain.~AH

Secret #643: I’ve always hated every aspect of movie theaters. The ridiculously expensive/salty and occasionally stale popcorn, the -4º air conditioning, the annoying teenagers who think they’re cool for laughing at the most dramatic parts in movies, the amount of time it sucks out of your day, the incredibly inconvenient seating because unless you go 45 minutes early, there’s no way all 7 of you are going to be able to sit next to each other. It just seems so unnecessary. Wouldn’t you rather just chill/goof off somewhere instead of awkwardly sitting silently in a dark room for 2.5 hours? ~MY

inspiration

They say inspiration comes from the most unexpected places. No. You’re just not looking hard enough at everyday events and items. The great weather outside inspires a run. Seeing that couple holding hands inspires you to talk to that someone. Your growling stomach inspires you to whip up a fantastic meal in under 20 minutes. Creativity isn’t some lightbulb suddenly flashing on, it’s you re-examining your bedroom, and seeing the objects with new eyes. Right now I’m hoping that the paltry few items in my otherwise bare fridge will “inspire” me to cook up something that resembles dinner. ~AH

Inspiration isn’t something that falls into your lap from the heavenly skies. As much as I wish it were different, you can’t just wait around to be struck by a divine flash of inspiration and suddenly have your papers and projects finished for you. You have to look for it. You have to walk around with an open mind, testing each thing you see for the different possibilities, the different potentials. You have to be willing to try something new, and to fiddle with things you’ve never fiddled with before. Inspiration doesn’t come to people who ask. It comes to people who explore. ~MY

choices

Choosing classes in college has become a routine process. Avoid Friday classes. Avoid classes early in the mornings or late in the afternoons. Anything offered between 10am and 2pm is “primetime”. Classes that meet for anything longer than 1.5 hours at a time should also be avoided. After 90 minutes of staring at the professor, your eyes start glazing over, and your mind’s stuck somewhere between “what’s for dinner?” and “I should check up that girl on facebook”. Should you have the misfortune of being forced to take one of those 5 hour lab sections, pray to your deity that your lab partner isn’t hungover/stoned/asleep. ~AH

My Snapple® Peach Green Tea tells me to make good choices. It tells me to take the stairs, not the elevator. To say no to extra cheese. And, of course, it tells me to pick Snapple instead of Nestlé. But the dinky advertising bottle has a point. Everyday, you’re faced with the little things that aren’t going to impact your life enough that you’ll remember what you did through the rest of 3^rd period. But I find that when you do make those little choices, this lingering smile from that choice stays with you all the way through lunch and even halfway through 7^th. Those are the good choices. ~MY

redemption

How do get back into their good graces. That’s the first thing you think when you’ve wronged someone. You’re immediately thinking of an action to do, or the words to say. However, you’re probably not thinking about how much damage you’ve caused the person. It’s easier to think of additional things to do, instead of trying to address the wrongs that you’ve committed. Treating social capital as something that can be bought and sold, we attempt to buy, via actions, our way back onto the “good” list. Until you finally realize that no one’s selling. Friendships aren’t sold, they’re given. ~AH

If there’s one thing I do well, it’s holding a grudge. It’s difficult for most normal people to obtain such a degree of utter dislike, but quite frankly, there are simply a few very unfortunate people who seem to have been born into this world for the sole reason of assisting in the loss of my sanity. And these people, though they might give the half hearted pathetic apology, just cannot grasp that an entire semester of frustration, exasperation, and absurdly painful lab periods simply cannot be erased with a simple ‘Oh, totally my bad, I’ll do it tomorrow. Really.’ And the moral of the story? Be more open minded and accepting. Pick a better lab partner. ~MY

dinosaurs

Godzilla versus Barney. One is awe-inspiring, even sometimes fearsome. The other is mind-numbing, hypnotizing, lulling you. Godzilla was so good Hollywood had to copy it. Of course, like any of Hollywood’s remakes of Asian hit movies, Godzilla sucked. (See also the remakes of My Sassy Girl and Infernal Affairs) Barney is supposed to be a freaking T-Rex. Last time I checked T-Rex was a carnivore with bone-crushing teeth. I’ll take the Godzilla perspective on life over Barney’s any day. Life can be awe-inspiring, and it can also be scary. But life is definitely not the happy syrup some purple dino is peddling. ~AH

The best exhibit at the science museum to give tours of is the paleontology hall. Aka, “DADDY LOOK AT ALL THE DINO BONES.” The first thing I get to do (after watching a small child’s parents retrieve their overly excited kid from the depths of the exhibit) is to get said small child to hold a pile of dino crap and watch them giggle profusely and shove it at their parents. Then I compare the T-Rex’s brain to a small child’s brain, and the T-Rex’s heart to a small child’s heart, and the T-Rex’s tooth to a small child’s head. And they giggle some more pretending they’re a T-Rex and try eating their parents. And finally the parents let out a small laugh too. You never get too old for dinosaurs. ~MY

restaurants

I don’t eat out much. A college student’s budget dictates that. Growing up, my family didn’t each out much either. Frugal parents dictated that. This makes for interesting situations when we actually do go out for a meal. The other day my younger brother didn’t know what dressing to get for his side salad and went for French. He wanted the “stuff that’s just oil and vinegar and spices” (Italian, for those of you wondering). Makes we wonder how I learned my salad dressings. Then again, I like my veggies stir-fried anyways. I’ll just ask for “oil and vinegar” on my salads from now on. ~AH

My parents try to argue with the waiter every opportunity they get, and then decide the food is run of the mill at best and the service absolutely horrid and they would rather eat out of garbage cans than that terrible terrible restaurant again. Personally, I’m not so picky. Restaurants are all the same to me. I just want to sit down and get some grub without having to do the dishes afterwards. But my parents prefer the restaurants where they can get some quality service, and the glass of water has a slice of lemon in it without their asking (those mind reading waiters are high in demand these days). Maybe it’s just a grown up thing. ~MY

rain

Summer rain’s the best. When it starts to rain in the middle of a bright and sunny day. I roll up my jeans and find that downhill, ready to be soaked by the cascade. Splish-splash and sploshing around, I’m intent on kicking up and scooping up a mess. My tee’s weighed down by all the water, but my mind’s not weighed down by anything. Of course my worries and troubles aren’t really being washed away. They’re merely forgotten for a few minutes. But after the downpour, I’m ready to face them again, a bit wetter, and a bit lighter in spirits. ~AH

Rain makes pretty sounds. Rain makes pretty sounds when it pounds against glass window panes. Rain makes pretty sounds when it splatters against the nylon canopy of an umbrella. Rain makes pretty sounds as it dribbles through the roof gutters. Rain makes pretty sounds when little children put on their yellow rain boots and splash around in puddles. Rain makes pretty sounds when the sky rumbles with its thunder. Rain makes pretty sounds when cars speed through leftover rain in the curbs of the streets that hasn’t been drained away yet. Hopefully it’ll rain soon. ~MY